A Lasting Impression

by Mar 27, 2024Online Exclusives, Southport Oak Island, Sports

Our golf writer shares a few tips on how to make yourself memorable during a game of golf.

Some golfers have a knack for leaving a lasting impression. Whether you are enjoying a new course on vacation or just playing 18 with your regular homeys, here are a few things you can do to make sure that nobody forgets you were there.

1. Arrive at the bag drop late. No better way to ensure your clubs won’t be snatched than to minimize the time they are at the bag drop!

2. Check in at the pro shop even later. And be sure to wheedle the desk pro for the lowest possible rate, even if you don’t qualify for it.

3. Arrive at the first tee later yet. Why waste a bunch of time hanging around waiting to tee off? Let the other guys figure out the handicaps and the game so that if you mess up, you can say, “Geez, I didn’t know that.”

4. Mock anyone who isn’t playing from the blue tees (from which you shoot 112). Why would you pay for the whole course and only use part of it?

Golfing Behavior

5. Excuse any bad shot by your failure to warm up. Note that you haven’t played in two weeks, or blame some obscure muscle that you injured while working out.

6. Take plenty of practice swings. Hey, if one practice swing is good, then three or four should be better, right? Besides, now you WILL get warmed up.

7. Don’t fire up your GPS device or range finder until you really need it. The guys will wait. If you forgot to recharge it or replace the battery, you can always walk across the fairway and borrow theirs.

8. Toss some grass up in the air to judge the wind. This gives you yet another excuse for why you used the wrong club and missed the green.

9. Be sure to check your phone while waiting to hit. You can never tell when your broker or friends will be calling.

Bad Golfing Etiquette

10. When you eventually get to the green, don’t worry about shadows or stepping in someone’s line. No metal spikes means no sweat about indentations, right?

11. Be sure your ball is clean before you putt. Really clean, worth a few towel rubs, and don’t forget to tell your chums about the magical $65/dozen balls you use, or your new $400 “Can’t Miss” putter. The place, adjust and readjust the ball at your mark, exhale and plumb-bob the putt after circumnavigating the green. More breathing exercises to calm you down, steady over the putt and take a few practice putts. If no one has tackled you by now, execute the putt and think about how you will deal with what is left. Again, and again.

cleaning golf balls

12. Once in the hole, walk away. And begin the process of reassembling your clubs, replacing your headcovers and muttering about what went wrong. The longer you avoid announcing your score, the more likely you can fudge it.

Repeat as necessary and take a good look at the course — you likely won’t be invited back.